Confessions

Time to 'fess up.

Readers of this blog have noticed (hopefully!) the lack of activity over the summer. I wrote about it recently, attributing my absence to the heavy workload I carried over the past few months. That's true, but it's not the whole story.

It's not just work that's laid heavily upon me. It's been more a question of mood, of atmosphere. A sense of uneasiness.

Or just plain meanness. The public discourse sapped my soul this summer. I guess it started around the time of the incident involving Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates. As most of America knows, a Cambridge police officer responded to a 911 call at the professor's home, investigating a possible break in. There was a confrontation. Words were exchanged. Ultimately, Gates was arrested and briefly held in jail before he was released and the charges dropped.

Then President Obama was asked about the event at a White House news conference. He said he thought the police had behaved "stupidly" by arresting someone in their own house, after the homeowner had presented proper identification.

You know the rest. The country and the Internet exploded into arguments about black vs. white; cop vs. citizen; Ivy League vs. blue collar; and various forms of class warfare. The missives got nasty and personal. I stupidly continued my practice of reading the comment sections following various news articles and blog posts. Read them until I realized I was being poisoned by the vitriol.

The Gates controversy subsided as the Health Care debate ratcheted up. Now the hostility was no longer limited to the Internet, but live and in person at Town Hall meetings. Little debate or information sharing there. Just screaming and half-truths and name calling, sometimes with a firearm accompaniment. All offered fresh all day courtesy of your favorite cable channel.

And this week, I've been stunned at the outpouring of hate focused on the late Sen. Edward Kennedy, a man whose personal failings were well-documented. I was stunned that some people needed their demonized portrait of the liberal politician so much that they could not take one moment to acknowledge his humanity, or the possibility that he'd contributed anything positive to mankind.

I can't really explain why this atmosphere has weighed on me so heavily. Maybe it's the confrontation with hardened ideas and hardened heart -- surely anathema to a coach who believes in options, and the capacity in each of us to learn from our disappointments and failures to begin again.

Enough. I'm done with the lamenting. Done with being made small by the negativity of others. I reclaim my voice. I chose to coach and to lead by example.

Baby, I'm Back.