Do I See You? Or Me?

Executive Coach and author Russell Bishop explores a concept that readers of this blog have seen before, the belief that there is the possibility of perfection within each moment. Even within times of challenge, Bishop writes that there is positive learning in negative experiences.

It's an examination of the laws of attraction, yet from a different perspective than the current pop culture variety. Bishop employs an older concept, "the mirror:"


"The mirror concept suggests that when we perceive something in another, or react to something in another, what we are really doing is seeing a reflection of our own selves in the other person's behavior.

In fact, we may not perceive their behavior accurately, especially when it comes to intent. We may be seeing something, interpreting it through our own filters or self-judgments, and then reacting toward or against the other person. What we may truly be trying to do, however, is bring to our own awareness some aspect or quality of our own behavior that detracts from who we truly are, or how we would prefer to represent ourselves in the world."

You can read more of Bishop's analysis in this article on the Huffington Post.

And spend some time with the provocative question he raises:

"Just ask yourself if you are willing for things to be different, and, by extension, for you to be different."

Digging Out

It's day three after the historic snowstorm in the Mid-Atlantic region. The sun is shining and the snowplows finally found my street today. Around the neighborhood, there is a feeling of optimism, at least for now.

I grew up in the Midwest, so I know from snow. And I know how to deal with it, both driving and maintenance around the house. I've lived in the Washington area long enough to know the snow rituals that come with any forecast that predicts more than three inches of snow: a run on hardware stores for shovels and ice melt, and a separate run on the groceries for milk and toilet paper.

(I never understood the repeated sellouts of shovels and toilet paper. Seems like people would have enough on a regular basis, you know?)

However, the storm we just had met all the predictions and then some. There were points when we got two to three inches of snow per hour. I had never seen anything like it, including during the times I lived in Cleveland, Boston and Chicago.

By midday Saturday we had about 20 inches of snow. The flakes were still falling, but my son and I joined our neighbors in beginning to do a preliminary clearing of sidewalk and the stairway and the walk up to the house. My son questioned the utility of such an exercise since there was more snow to come.




His Midwestern-raised mother knew we needed to act in order to expand our options later. The snow was wet and heavy. If we waited, the top layers would help to freeze the bottom layers, making removal more difficult later. And frankly, the more snow we cleared on Saturday meant less work when the flurries finally stopped.

I'm kinda anal about shoveling. I don't believe in creating a shovel-width path. If possible, I want to clear the whole damn walkway, from edge to edge and right down to the pavement. I sprinkle ice melt on every uncovered surface. I want to have room to move and change direction, and make my footing as sure as I can. I want to be prepared for what's coming next, instead of relying on for circumstances like rising temperatures and melting to clear my path.



Of course, a lot of things are beyond my control. A person only has so much energy, and a narrow path may be all one can reasonably clear. Sometimes there's someone to help you; sometimes you have to plow through on your own. You do what you can.

Also beyond my control: the weather. Forecasters are calling for another four to eight inches of snow to hit us tomorrow night.

I think we'll be ok. I know we have more options for how to handle the next storm because of the decisions we made on Saturday.