That Inner Voice

Readers of this blog know that if I hear or see a good idea, I will share it. I claim no pride of authorship; good information should be shared no mater what the source.

Today, I have to be honest: I wish I were Melinda Beck.

At least, I wish I had written the excellent article Melinda Beck posted Tuesday on the Health page of the Wall Street Journal website.

Beck's article exposes the Inner Critic -- the little voice that all of us carry inside that offers constant commentary on what we're doing, how well we're doing it and the choices we make.

Quoting Beck: "Psychologists say many of their patients are plagued by a harsh Inner Critic -- including some extremely successful people who think it's the secret to their success."

Many coaches have another name for this Inner Critic. We call it "The Gremlin." It's a great visual -- a little alien voice that whispers "You don't really think you can do that." Or maybe it says, "Don't say anything. You'll only let people know how stupid you are." And this: "You can't think that man is smiling at you, the way you look."

The thing that makes gremlins so powerful is that we create them ourselves. The gremlins have access to the best material to use against their hosts, because they are privy to all our doubts and insecurities. And once they get our attention, the louder and more powerful they become.

The irony is that gremlins can serve a good purpose. We do need to exercise some caution before we take on a new task, a new role or a new relationship. Our inner voice can save use from doing something really stupid or really dangerous. It's there for a reason.

Yet, as Beck points out, the gremlin can get out of control:

"An Inner Critic can indeed roust you out of bed in the morning, get you on the treadmill (literally and figuratively) and spur you to finish that book or symphony or invention. The desire to achieve can get hijacked by harsh judgment and unrelenting fear."

Beck goes on to quote Daniel F. Seidman, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University Medical Center in New York. "There's a healthy version and an unhealthy version," Seidman says. "...[P]eople may achieve a lot, but they are totally miserable about it."

It's not an either/or situation. The inner voice can be a good thing. We can choose to listen to the gremlin. Or not.