"When did you know?"

Eric Deggans is the Media Critic for the St. Petersburg Times in Florida. That role demands that he serve as a keen observer of American culture, because that is exactly what is reflected in the media we consume.

Along with his columns and other reporting, Eric maintains a blog on the St. Pete Times website, called “The Feed.” There, readers can find Eric’s observations about topics and events that may not have found their way into the daily newspaper.

On Monday, Eric wrote about an upcoming Cinemax documentary which poses a pivotal question to 150 gay and lesbian people: When did you know?

Being a good reporter, Eric not only focused on the subjects of the documentary, but also interviewed gay and lesbian people in the greater St. Petersburg area to talk about their journey of self discovery.

Eric writes: “For most I talked to, it was a slow process, marked by flashes of recognition: the impulsive reaction to a TV show or magazine picture; the surprisingly close bond to a friend of the same sex; the unexpected reaction while changing clothes in a gym class. Later, when the social implication of those reactions set in, there was another reaction. This isn't a story of coming out to the world, but coming out to themselves…”

You can check out Eric’s complete column here:

http://blogs.tampabay.com/media/2008/06/for-gay-people.html

Some of the people interviewed also mentioned how friends, family and other observers sometimes recognized their sexual orientation (and sometimes cruelly) even before the individual had reach that awareness on their own.

No matter how you feel about homosexuality, I believe Eric perfectly captures the journey of self awareness: “a slow process, marked by flashes of recognition.” So many people spend so much energy to create the perfect façade, convinced of its ability to hide that which they want to stay hidden, or that the façade has the power to convince others (and themselves) of some alternative reality.

But those “flashes of recognition” keep illuminating the authentic self. We can turn away from enlightenment, or appreciate the light shining on our path. Even if it takes us somewhere we never expected or wanted to go.

In situations personal and professional, it can be frightening and liberating to “come out to yourself.”