As part of a series of essays Buckingham is writing on Women and Happiness for the popular Huffington Post website, he poses these five critical questions to drill down on how to chose happiness:
1. How often do you get to do things you really like to do?
2. How often do you find yourself actively looking forward to the day ahead?
3. How often do you get so involved in what you're doing you lose track of time?
4. How often do you feel invigorated at the end of a long, busy day?
5. How often do you feel an emotional high in your life?
For those unfamiliar with Marcus Buckingham, he is best known for his work as a strengths coach; that is, focusing on those things and behaviors that strengthen us. And although his Huffington Post essays concentrate on women, there is learning here for everyone.
With the questions listed above, you can see the distinction between those things we are good at, and those things which are good for us. That can be a tough distinction to make, especially when we are rewarded or even honored for practices that drain our spirits.
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If you have the chance, I really recommend reading all of the Buckingham essays on Women and Happiness. He provides the background his research, which showed despite all the technological advances and the improving status of women in cultures around the world, women self-reported being less happy with their lives. That essay is here.
Buckingham breaks it down further in his next essay, saying that the more options women have, the more they seem to use those options to measure themselves, often negatively. In other words, they didn't focus on what they did well; they stressed over all they were not doing, or not doing well enough. My description may be slightly off -- judge for yourself here.
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